The River: Writing Challenge Day 31

Music is part of my soul. When I sing in church or in my chorale or in any other chorus of voices -that in that moment I am part of something bigger than myself, with the power to touch the hearts of others. It is amazing.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 30

You know when you dread something - you know you can do it but you really don't want to and you resent the world that makes you have to do this think that you dread doing?  And then you do it and it's really not that big of a deal and when it's over you are just relieved all over the place?  That's what's on my mind tonight!

The River: Writing Challenge Day 29

I am feeling that familiar feeling that I wish I could be alone. Just by myself, away from the hands and voices that pull and compel, and the noises and habits of my closest circle...to reset my systems and remind me why I have chosen a more complicated life than perhaps my solitary nature can akways take in stride.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 28

Purchased Just Dance Kids 2 for the Wii this week as a surprise for the kids. Very well received but now I am cursed with the earworm of "I'm a Gummi Bear"  And I thought "It's A Small World" was an annoying song!

The River: Writing Challenge Day 27

My children are in 1st and 3rd grade.  It was impossible when they were babies to know what their personalities would be like in elementary school, but I wondered.  It is impossible now to know what they will be like in middle school or high school, but I find myself wondering what activities they will enjoy and what challenges they will face.  As I watch my nephew and niece consider their college plans and look ahead to their first jobs and young adulthood, I can't help but wonder about my own children and the paths they will choose to follow.  I am torn with the desire to keep them young and safe at home, while at the same time I celebrate every move toward increased independence and I am so optimistic that the future holds such great things for each of them.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 26

On a late January day back in 1985, I was driving to my parents' home when I tapped the brakes to cancel the cruise control, having no idea I was on black ice, and lost control. I four cornered the car on guard rails on the other side of the road and the recrossed back to the ditch on my side. The car was totalled but I was fine. At about the same time, about five miles away, another car did much the same maneuver only a UPS truck was coming from the other direction and the car driver was killed. 

This afternoon I was driving home from Duluth on somewhat icy roads. I was taking it easy and came up a small hill where the road bridged over some railroad tracks I think and all of a sudden I saw a car crossing my lane on the other side of the bridge WTF? said my brain as I slowed as quickly as I could and stopped just before the spot where a young lady had come to rest in her car - blocking my lane. 

I went around her and stopped to make sure she was OK. She was probably a high school student, and we looked her car over, she started it as it had stalled, and she drove it up to the shoulder and all appeared to be in working order. I made sure she was OK and had a phone in case there was something wrong with the car as she continued on her way. She was so grateful and thanked me profusely for stopping and we parted ways. 

I was ten miles down the road before I realized I'd kind of just met my 1985 self and was again reminded of how lucky I was all those years ago.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 25

Togetherness via technology!  I am watching my niece play basketball via live stream over the internet, while texting my sister, talking on my cell with my husband and kids, emailing my mother, and communicating with all of you nice people on my blog.  Oh and tweeting - don't forget that!  All while sitting alone in a hotel room.  Amazing.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 24

I am so oppositional at trainings. I dislike being trapped in a chair and forced to sit quietly - as a result I am very prone to internal critical dialogue and internal eye rolling (note: I know enough to keep this internal). But I scream inside my head "quit telling me what you plan to tell me and f-in teach me something!"

I'm stuck here for two days.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 23

Lake Superior is gorgeous any time of year.  But on January 26th, having the opportunity to enjoy a walk along her shore without hat or mittens, she was spectacular!  Still open water though I'm told the big boats are done for the winter.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 22

Our cat has taken to sleeping in bed with us - at least for part of the night.  I welcome his warm self, curled up next to me, and am (oddly) not irritated by having to work around him when I change position.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 21

Austere:  I will admit I need to do first things first (just to be sure I know of which I speak):

aus·tere/ôˈsti(ə)r/

Adjective:

Severe or strict in manner, attitude, or appearance: "an austere man with a puritanical outlook". (of living conditions or a way of life) Having no comforts or luxuries; harsh or ascetic.

So perhaps "severe or strict in manner, attitude or appearance" works for me...along the lines of the word stern, ramped up a bit further.  When those eyebrows really bottom out and my sense of humor entirely disappears.  But beyond that I cannot go.  No puritanical outlook here.  And I am definitely not doing anything too harsh and ascetic - I like my running water and king sized bed. 

The River: Writing Challenge Day 20

Stern:  I love this word.  Overall, I am not a stern person by any stretch of the imagination but boy howdy can I put on a stern face and voice when the occasional presents itself!  It has its moments and I have the eyebrows to work it! 

The River: Writing Challenge Day 19

Refined:  this is a word that has no application in my life.  I can identify nothing that fits the word "refined" in my life.  Not my speech, nor my taste in entertainment, nor my personal style, nor my favorite foods.  I have pretty good manners, if you can excuse the occasional f-bomb, but that's about as far as I can stretch my imagination to fit this word onto me.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 18

Patient:  I used to joke that pregnancy, for me, was a lesson in patience.  There is nothing to do but wait until the baby says it's ready.  That is a tough lesson for me.  I learn a new facet of how to be patient every day.  And I need to keep learning because it does not come naurally to me.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 17

Sincere:  I am a truthful person - I pride myself on being honest and straightforward when I speak, and I think I stay true to myself in what I say.  However, there is much that I do not say, and I know there are times that I want to speak and don't, which is where I need work. 

The River: Writing Challenge Day 16

Gentle:  I am gentle with the feelings of others.  I am more often than not gentle with myself.  I need work on speaking more gently to my children on a more consistent basis.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 15

I have so many internal defenses.  I see them, and I have a pretty good start on understanding where they come from.  In my quest to open up, I know I shouldn't and yet I watch myself use them.  Until I stop doing it, I will continue on much the same path ... and yet I watch myself use them. My word for 2012 was resolve - I need to hold on to my resolve to change, so that these walls can come down.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 14

My kids knew I had chores in  mind today.  What they did not know is that I didn't want to do them and just wanted a quiet day of reading and relaxing.  I told them that at the first sign of disagreement between the two of them - harsh words, fighting, arguing over something, etc. - we'd start the chores.  It is now 30 minutes before bedtime and I have not heard one bad moment out of them.  Yes, that means the chores didn't get done, but neither did I have to break up a fight or intervene in an argument once.  Amazing!

The River: Writing Challenge Day 13

I am not going to "should" on myself today.  I had a long week and cleared some stressful events off my calendar at work.  I am going to read and do whatever else I want to do instead of manufacturing a "to do" list of crap that should get done.  All else can wait for another day.

The River: Writing Challenge Day 12

Sad Christmas tree.  Neglected in season this year and now past its prime.  It cries out to be taken down, out of its misery, and free from the cat's attempts to climb it, where it can hope for a better experience next year.