About a year ago I started my recovery journey. Sean was in treatment and I headed off, over the 4th of July weekend, for four days of Family Group - which turned out to be, for me, basically Al Anon boot camp. I met some wonderful people and wonder frequently about many of them and what their year has been like. We were taught to always say our closing prayer while standing with our left foot forward in honor of all those "left behind" and still suffering in their disease. I did that tonight at the close of my weekly meeting, as I usually do, and remembered.
This year, we are just ending our "girls week", at home alone while Sean enjoys his annual fishing trip in Canada. It's been a good week - not too remarkable - and we are so looking forward to his arrival back home tomorrow night. I am reminded that for all the things I'd like to do better in our relationship, his is still the only lap I have ever thrown myself, when I just need to be held; and his is still the embrace I know will always be there for me; and he is the one person I always know will have my back. I miss him and am so glad that he and I are walking our recovery path together.
I am also very grateful for the "we" program that is Al Anon for me. I often tell myself that I don't fit in, or that others don't understand me, and I recognize it for the defense mechanism that it is. And I know that in all the ways that matter, I am part of the larger community that is Al Anon - and the fact that my story is different in some ways is part of the Higher Power of the program actually adds to the program. We are all different and yet we are all so much the same.
It's been a good year and there is another good year ahead.