I have wallowed in my share of angst over the years - as evidenced in this blog and to anyone who has ever known me for more than 20 minutes. And then, when I realize I'm wallowing again, I then have the angst of trying to accept the earlier angst versus feeling guilty for it. Or, on really special occasions, I morph right into the "but no-one understands me!" drama that can last for eons.
As I was tossing around ideas just now, since I haven't written a post in several days, I re-visited a couple others I'd pondering over the past several days - I was gone again last weekend so spent time on the weekend planning future posts in my head, you know how that goes! I'd had this whole dramatic series planned in my head, analyzing the great TEDx talk that Elan Morgan gave about self-doubt and using it to move yourself forward (and it's a great great video - go to her blog and check it out, you will LOVE it) ... but then I realized that much of my thoughts her talk ended up being of the "but no-one understands me!" type and I rolled my eyes and realized what a drama queen I was being. Which then squelched all possible post-writing out of my head initially.
Until I thought of another drama queen in my life - my 9 year old daughter. Oh my Lord, can that girl flip herself out about anything. Huge crocodile tears over a thunderstorm watch on TV, or panic attacks over the possibility of shark attack (keep in mind we live in Minnesota, where sharks are rare), or the latest tragedy - the mosquito swarms we've had so far this year that, I grant you, are the worst in my memory, but the girl seems to think they are going to carry her off. We frequently discuss the uselessness of unnecessary drama and it hit me tonight that I am doing the exact same thing! There is so much b.s. spiraling my brain - I know it is largely just there to keep me stuck and not moving forward (internal messages about what I can't do or shouldn't do or shouldn't have to do, you know the kind).
So next time I'm all in my pity party world - I'm going to use the same words I use with my daughter to knock some sense into myself. What are the odds of someone understanding you if you don't open up your mouth and actually share what's going on inside you? About the same odds of a shark attack in Minnesota, dumbass.