Music is part of my soul. When I sing in church or in my chorale or in any other chorus of voices -that in that moment I am part of something bigger than myself, with the power to touch the hearts of others. It is amazing.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
The River: Writing Challenge Day 30
You know when you dread something - you know you can do it but you really don't want to and you resent the world that makes you have to do this think that you dread doing? And then you do it and it's really not that big of a deal and when it's over you are just relieved all over the place? That's what's on my mind tonight!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
The River: Writing Challenge Day 29
I am feeling that familiar feeling that I wish I could be alone. Just by myself, away from the hands and voices that pull and compel, and the noises and habits of my closest circle...to reset my systems and remind me why I have chosen a more complicated life than perhaps my solitary nature can akways take in stride.
The River: Writing Challenge Day 28
Purchased Just Dance Kids 2 for the Wii this week as a surprise for the kids. Very well received but now I am cursed with the earworm of "I'm a Gummi Bear" And I thought "It's A Small World" was an annoying song!
Who would you invite?
I don't know if anyone else does this, but from time to time I have been known to practice interview-type questions, out loud, usually in my car. I am not always the quickest thinker, at least when unexpected questions are asked, so when I hear of some random interview question, sometimes I ponder what my response might be...
I've heard of a couple that stump me still - what books are on your nightstand? Most of the time, I forget a book as soon as I put it down so, for all that I read voraciously, I can't often tell you the last 3 books I read. Another was what woman in history do you most admire - uhhhh...yeah, I still can't think of a good answer for that since I know almost nothing about history nor do I consider anyone a real role model. But one time someone told me they'd been asked what 3 people they would invite to a dinner party, if they choose from anyone living or dead. At first, I thought this would be another stumper - but then the invitees came clear: Amelia Earhart, Jacob Wetterling (for any who haven't heard of him, this young man grew up in a town near mine, and was abducted at age 11 by a stranger and never seen or heard from again - his family started a foundation to help families of other missing children), and my Grandpa Ray who died when I was only 5.
Of course all these interview questions are intended to elicit the personality of the interviewee, and I often consider what my answers to random questions say about me. I think the dinner party question, and my answers in that moment, certainly sang out loud and clear that I am curious about unanswered questions and always wonder about "the rest of the story".
I've heard of a couple that stump me still - what books are on your nightstand? Most of the time, I forget a book as soon as I put it down so, for all that I read voraciously, I can't often tell you the last 3 books I read. Another was what woman in history do you most admire - uhhhh...yeah, I still can't think of a good answer for that since I know almost nothing about history nor do I consider anyone a real role model. But one time someone told me they'd been asked what 3 people they would invite to a dinner party, if they choose from anyone living or dead. At first, I thought this would be another stumper - but then the invitees came clear: Amelia Earhart, Jacob Wetterling (for any who haven't heard of him, this young man grew up in a town near mine, and was abducted at age 11 by a stranger and never seen or heard from again - his family started a foundation to help families of other missing children), and my Grandpa Ray who died when I was only 5.
Of course all these interview questions are intended to elicit the personality of the interviewee, and I often consider what my answers to random questions say about me. I think the dinner party question, and my answers in that moment, certainly sang out loud and clear that I am curious about unanswered questions and always wonder about "the rest of the story".
The River: Writing Challenge Day 27
My children are in 1st and 3rd grade. It was impossible when they were babies to know what their personalities would be like in elementary school, but I wondered. It is impossible now to know what they will be like in middle school or high school, but I find myself wondering what activities they will enjoy and what challenges they will face. As I watch my nephew and niece consider their college plans and look ahead to their first jobs and young adulthood, I can't help but wonder about my own children and the paths they will choose to follow. I am torn with the desire to keep them young and safe at home, while at the same time I celebrate every move toward increased independence and I am so optimistic that the future holds such great things for each of them.
How did I get here?
I wrote a post a day or two ago, here, where I tried to make a list of things I'd done in my life that I loved. As often happens, when I start working on a project like that, I start reflecting. My reflections this morning were considering that list and wondering how it came to be that I started law school at age 30 and what I hoped to accomplish by that step.
I was about 28, living in Seattle, and finding little satisfaction and finding a lot of internal questioning about the purpose of my life. I was unmarried, childless, living paycheck to paycheck in a rental property, working as a office support person, and not seeing any way that my life was going to change without someone disrupting the status quo. Of course, I had always expected (assumed?) Mr. Right was going to come along and sweep me into some other life, but as I worked my way through my late 20s, I was starting to doubt Mr. Right's imminent appearance, and I think I was finally realizing that perhaps life would be more rewarding if I was the one moving myself forward, rather than waiting to be "rescued". I spent some months pondering what I might do with myself, I applied for a bunch of jobs in diverse industries - thinking maybe I could find a business where I could advance. I actually had 2-3 interviews with a shipping company in Seattle, starting out in a support role, but with the possibility of moving up if I earned it. I was pretty disappointed to get passed over for that job actually and wonder sometimes how that might have worked out.
Ultimately I decided to go to law school. I needed to prove to myself that I was smart enough to do it and I knew from the moment I decided to do it that my goal would not be to work in a fancy law firm and get involved in the corporate rat race - instead, I wanted to help regular folks through the regular struggles everyone faces in life, like divorce and other everyday occurrences. I knew I was good at problem solving and accepting of the jams people can find themselves in, and I felt I was honest and straightforward enough to help. Doesn't sound very lawyer-like does it? Ha ha. Truly, though, when I was in private practice, I would tell people that came to ask about divorce or custody matters that I would gladly help them, but they needed to accept that I was not the kind of lawyer that would posture and preen and call the other person names and try to smear them or otherwise get their pound of flesh for them - if they wanted that kind of lawyer, they should hire someone else.
Private practice lost its appeal however, the first time I had to deal with the business end of the deal. I did a fair amount of work trusting that folks would pay their bills and not demanding retainers out of my clients. I learned fast that you had to be cold blooded about the money - requiring those retainers and billing accurately rather than discounting your time for this and that. The firm I was in had its own issues and I left after 3 years.
Now I'm a government lawyer. While I am still helping people, it comes from a different angle (governmental intrusion), and our efforts are often not appreciated. I still get to problem solve and work with other people and agencies to craft what we believe will be helpful for the kids we serve, but ...
The challenge of law school and of practicing law has been a good one for me overall. I have learned a lot about myself and my abilities, I've met a lot of people and learned a lot of things about law and about things way beyond it. I have left a mark, though that is much less important to me than it was years ago, since I now have a much more well defined mark on the world through my children. So the question the becomes whether I am now headed for a new challenge, or whether the real challenge is to find new purpose in the place I'm in now...
I was about 28, living in Seattle, and finding little satisfaction and finding a lot of internal questioning about the purpose of my life. I was unmarried, childless, living paycheck to paycheck in a rental property, working as a office support person, and not seeing any way that my life was going to change without someone disrupting the status quo. Of course, I had always expected (assumed?) Mr. Right was going to come along and sweep me into some other life, but as I worked my way through my late 20s, I was starting to doubt Mr. Right's imminent appearance, and I think I was finally realizing that perhaps life would be more rewarding if I was the one moving myself forward, rather than waiting to be "rescued". I spent some months pondering what I might do with myself, I applied for a bunch of jobs in diverse industries - thinking maybe I could find a business where I could advance. I actually had 2-3 interviews with a shipping company in Seattle, starting out in a support role, but with the possibility of moving up if I earned it. I was pretty disappointed to get passed over for that job actually and wonder sometimes how that might have worked out.
Ultimately I decided to go to law school. I needed to prove to myself that I was smart enough to do it and I knew from the moment I decided to do it that my goal would not be to work in a fancy law firm and get involved in the corporate rat race - instead, I wanted to help regular folks through the regular struggles everyone faces in life, like divorce and other everyday occurrences. I knew I was good at problem solving and accepting of the jams people can find themselves in, and I felt I was honest and straightforward enough to help. Doesn't sound very lawyer-like does it? Ha ha. Truly, though, when I was in private practice, I would tell people that came to ask about divorce or custody matters that I would gladly help them, but they needed to accept that I was not the kind of lawyer that would posture and preen and call the other person names and try to smear them or otherwise get their pound of flesh for them - if they wanted that kind of lawyer, they should hire someone else.
Private practice lost its appeal however, the first time I had to deal with the business end of the deal. I did a fair amount of work trusting that folks would pay their bills and not demanding retainers out of my clients. I learned fast that you had to be cold blooded about the money - requiring those retainers and billing accurately rather than discounting your time for this and that. The firm I was in had its own issues and I left after 3 years.
Now I'm a government lawyer. While I am still helping people, it comes from a different angle (governmental intrusion), and our efforts are often not appreciated. I still get to problem solve and work with other people and agencies to craft what we believe will be helpful for the kids we serve, but ...
The challenge of law school and of practicing law has been a good one for me overall. I have learned a lot about myself and my abilities, I've met a lot of people and learned a lot of things about law and about things way beyond it. I have left a mark, though that is much less important to me than it was years ago, since I now have a much more well defined mark on the world through my children. So the question the becomes whether I am now headed for a new challenge, or whether the real challenge is to find new purpose in the place I'm in now...
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