Contradictory as usual, it has occurred to me that I have what I think is maybe a unique body image. I have read lots of things over the years about the poor folks suffering with eating disorders, who despite looking to the rest of us like a concentration camp inmate, see a fat person when they look at themselves in the mirror. On the other hand, we also know there are lots of people who have not-perfect bodies who carry themselves with the pride and confidence and even the sex appeal of the hottest supermodel.
I am somewhere in the middle.
I don't frequently look in the mirror, but when I do I am often slow to recognize myself because the lumpy, doughy body is not what I expect to see. Instead, I expect to see a lean and strong person, who is relaxed in body and in life. I recently dubbed that inner vision as my inner athlete.
I may never have that lean and strong athlete physique but that is also not my goal as I enter my second month of yoga practice. My goal is actually the second half of my inner vision - when I look at myself, I want to see a person who is relaxed in body and in life. Balanced and at peace.