Back for more,,,

Hello blog!

I am a writer who has not been writing.  Lots of reasons for that and excuses for why I haven't made time, but screw the monkey chatter that thinks I needed a new blog or a different platform.  Why not just add a new iteration of this stream of consciousness blog?  And with that, here I am.

Last weekend I was talking with an intuitive reader at a weekend retreat.  She talked about a lot of interesting things but the thing that drew my focus was when she mentioned the difference between discussing a personal issue vs. sharing vs venting vs. complaining. So when I get together with my girlfriends, we invariably talk about whatever issues we all have -- most of us have no other friends with whom we can discuss these things and life doesn't get any easier, so our reunions are rife with struggles and trials.

Some issues need discussion - there are times I want feedback.  I applied for a big promotion last year and it came after a serious discussion of pros and cons with these ladies.  But not all matters are open for discussion, are they?  Sometimes I just want to tell my story and be heard.  Be loved and supported by these women I love dearly and respect highly.  Makes good sense to me, but in reality these women are so smart and so competent and so powerful in their own right that everything tends to be a discussion .... ideas, experiences, books read on the subject, and way too much SHOULD and COULD and "here's what you need to do" comes pouring out. It's overwhelming and has a major chilling effect on me. When I share (if I share) I have begun to preface what I'm saying in a way that makes crystal clear what response is allowed. Healthy solution or defensive wall?

And then there is venting vs complaining. The way the reader described the difference was brilliant - it is totally ok to vent at times, but when we keep harping on the same complaints over and over, friends need to just check us with a quick "shut the f*^% up already".  Vent - release the stress of whatever is grating - and then move on. Continued complaining is either a bad habit that makes you negative and tiresome, or a sign that you need to change something.

Food for some introspection, hm?